I have never ever felt so digitally insecure. Not until this week. Let me tell you a story of a relationship I have with Toshi.
My one-year old Toshiba NB200 laptop just didn't want to turn on despite the fact that in the past months he has always been turned on by me. One day, he just wouldn't and I don't know if I have to blame myself. Did I not treat him right? Did I not maintain my relationship with him well? Did I neglect him? I panicked, like any other person would be when the most important thing in your law school-work-extracurricular activities turned his back away from you. “Was it my fault?"
The repairmen said they couldn't pinpoint the problem. "
It's a hardware problem Ma'am."
I know. It wouldn't boot up.
"You may pay P5,000 to fix this kind of problem but unfortunately, we can't fix it."
I felt like my world crumbled. Ice cold water poured over my body. No, I can't cry. But it was so painful. I have all my files with him. I have everything with him. I need to print something that I need to pass on that day. This is what I don't like about technology. I can't help but be so attached to it. I can't help but feel like a whole huge lot of my life depends on it.
But as if it is something automatic in my system, my thoughts suddenly shifted to its problem-solving hemisphere.
"Think Pau, think. This is not a problem, just a challenge."
"I have my 1.5TB HDD with my files that I backed up just recently, check. My files are all backed up and encrypted through Truecrypt.org, check. I have backed up online too through Dropbox.com, check. I have my Flashdisk with me, check."
My only issue is this: I did not encrypt my files in my laptop and because of that I felt so digitally insecure when the repairmen had to open it up. They will run Toshi overnight, trying to figure out what happened to him. They will try to thresh out its issues, bugs, failures--everything Toshi doesn't want the world to know. Toshi is so exposed. They can check ALL my files with him. Everything. And I felt so bad I didn't do anything about it before he crashed.
Now, I'm waiting for the results of another run done to him. I may have to wait 2-3 weeks since it is entirely possible that the problem is his Mother(board) and it will demand that much attention. I can't do anything about that on my own. I need to trust the expert. I can't take it unto my own hands.
I learned my lesson. I hope I will not commit the same mistakes again. I promise to learn how to maintain relationships with electronics. Just like what the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance was trying to point out--maintenance is the key.
Toshi please come back to me. I need you. Back.
Blog #17 - Special Edition